Frances Mary Penney (15 Nov 1930 - 7 Nov 2015)

Dorothy and Tony have very fond memories of Roy and Frances. Frances was my Girls Brigade Lieutenant which was started in March 1963 at Wimborne Baptist Church. Frances spent many many hours sewing, making our uniforms, which looked good and lasted us years. We were always made very welcome into the family and joined them on many New Years Day's enjoying fun and games with everyone in their home.. Frances also mentioned about - when was I going to be Baptised several times - and eventually I did. She also had a mention as to when Tony and I were to get married, which happened in October 1974. So we have quite a few memories of her and what her thoughts were. We also joined them on a Sunday for lunch and went to Wimborne Hospital to sing to the patients there, on behalf of the Torch Trust, and then go down to Streets Meadow. Frances was a very kind and thoughtful lady and we will miss her very much. Then in 2009 we had a Youth Fellowship reunion when both Frances and Roy joined us and met a lot of the old youth.

Thanks to all of you who shared yesterday with us as a family, and for those of you who have sent cards, posted messages and or given contributions to Autism Hampshire. As requested by a number of you I have now posted below the reflective poem I prepared on behalf of both myself and my siblings, and which I read at yesterday's funeral and celebration for mum.


Frances Mary Penney: You Were our Mum

Today is special and also sad
As we recall your life on earth
60 years with our dear Dad
85 since day of birth.

Thoughts pass across our fragile minds
A mixture true, but in the main
They turn to you and quickly find
Treasures a-plenty amidst the pain

Hospitable you were, and none your match
For open house and Sunday fare
Dad welcomed hordes onto our patch
But fell to you food to prepare.

Amazing that with all of us
To others you still reached out
Matter of fact and without much fuss
No room for any doubt

Torch Trust for Blind a major cause
And care for both the Grans
While working hard without applause
To support our family plans.

Instruments and music a constant drain
On funds you strove to earn
But determined you were, despite the strain
For us a chance to learn

Cardigans, jumpers were a regular treat
You churned them out at pace
With patterns too, some quite a feat
Too much for some to face!

Your physio skills were in demand
When friends arrived in pain
Despite ruthless massage with your hand
We’re sure they came again?!

When we’d left home you kept in touch
With friends and family news
So keen to tell and listen much
To all our tales and views

Sandbanks, Cumbria and Durdle Door
Gave happy family breaks
These left us wanting many more
Whatever it would take

Your deepest sadness hit us all
When Steve did pass away
22 years since fateful fall
We remember to this day

In later life you loved to read
Novels of various length
Words picked up no doubt did feed
Your crossword skills and strength

6 months ago you bid farewell
To Brightside in Poole Road
60 years you there did dwell
‘Fore move to new abode

We’d no idea that soon your health
Would suffer, and worsen still
Through cancer, creeping up by stealth
A thankless bitter pill

So now you’ve gone and left a hole
No other mum can fill
But in our loss your steadfast soul
We trust to God’s own will

In Christ alone your hope was found
A hope that Dad does share
And in heaven’s love abiding
We’re sure he’ll meet you there.


A Prayer for Dad

Dear Lord Jesus
Be Dad’s light in darkness
Be his hope in distress
Be his calm in anxiety
Be strength in Dad’s weakness
Be his comfort in pain
Be Dad’s song in the night

My childhood memories of Frankie (Frances) are rather distant now! She was 3 years 11months older than me, and very occasionally had the dubious responsibility of looking after me and Christopher, our younger brother when our parents had to both be out. This she did not find very easy!
Our childhood years spanned World War Two, with, of course no TV or radio -- the wireless was a permanent fixture in the front room where we were not allowed to go very often. There were no activities for children outside the home, it was too dangerous I presume; so we entertained ourselves. One activity was to play Monopoly with 12 finger-sized dolls that Frankie had knitted (her knitting ability started early.) We also put on dance and poetry shows on top of the Morrison shelter in our living room, to our Mother and anyone else who might have been around. Frankie, of course, was the Producer and Director!
In her teens, she was displayed as Britannia on top of one of our Dad's vehicles in a parade in Wimborne. Later, when she was living in London training to be a physiotherapist, she invited me for a weekend to her digs, and we went to see Oklahoma. We really enjoyed that.
I think she gave her life to Jesus in her early twenties. I remember sitting in her room at home in Sandbanks and chatting together about Jesus and how we needed to trust Him and follow Him. As we both left home our lives followed different paths through marriage and families, even when my children and I returned to Wimborne following my husband's sudden death.
She cared for both her mother-in-law and her mother at the family home towards the end of their lives, which she did lovingly and with dedication.
It has only been in her latter years that I have visited her more regularly as she became unable to get out. But I have to confess that even in her final fortnight she was still my big sister, giving me advice! Nevertheless, we were able to share some psalms together and enjoyed doing that. We have a great God. I cheekily wondered whether she would be having a birthday party in Heaven, having missed out on one here by a week! I thank God for having a sister with whom I could share Jesus. Praise be to Him.

What to say? How could I sum up my memories of Granny in words?

I think back to my earliest memories of Granny and I think about holidays in Wimbourne, playing in Granny and Grampy's flat or showing them what I had built on the beach at Sandbanks. Granny was always a constant presence, always calm and in control. She was always loving toward her family, particularly her grandchildren.

As I have grown up, this has been such a support to me and my brother Josh, whose autism was never judged by her but instead, he was embraced as any of her other grandchildren. I know that she prayed for me and Josh everyday, something that I will always be grateful for.

I know Granny is with her Saviour now and I'm so happy that she has that assurance forever more. I just hope they have a good supply of crosswords in Heaven for you Granny.

It's so hard to know where to begin when thinking of how best to pay tribute to Granny. Second only to my parents, Granny is the person who has probably done the most for me throughout my life.

Having lived under the same roof as my grandparents from the age of 6, she was a constant presence in the home. Always helping out when Mum & Dad were working, making us clothes, walking us to and from school, giving me regular physio on my back - the list goes on and on. Nothing was ever too much trouble.

As a child, you rarely appreciate these practical things and tend to take them for granted. Granny may not have always been the 'cuddly' grandparent, but I am so so grateful for every ounce of love, care and attention that was shown to me in her way.

Her presence will be missed terribly, but knowing that she is at peace is a wonderful comfort xxx

We regret that we cannot be in England for her funeral, but our prayers are with the family at this difficult yet hope filled time.
We are consistently grateful for her years of service as a mother, a grandmother and most importantly as a faithful woman of God which is a legacy which is still with our family today.

- James, Kayleigh, James and Aliyah Rayment

For as long as I can remember the 'granny flat' at the back of 61 Poole Road has been a great place to visit. Originally to escape bedtime by watching snooker with Gran-Gran, more recently to go and see Granny and Grampy. There was always a warm welcome, a very warm lounge, the offer of tea, a genuine interest in how you were and what you had been doing, they would without fail stop whatever they were doing to make time for you. Family really was the most important thing to them.

When I was younger it was always Grampy who would make me laugh, but in more recent times it has been just as much Granny who has had the glint of humour in her eye, even during what must have been difficult years she kept her ability to share a joke and crack a few of her own.

Thank you granny for all the home made clothes, the no pain no gain Physio sessions, walking me to school (at speed!), my first ever mobile phone, the fantastic fudge recipe, and for always being there whenever I needed you. Xx

Happy memories of our family get togethers over the years with Uncle Roy and Auntie Frances and all our cousins.
Our sincere condolences to Uncle Roy and all the Penney family.
Penny and Graham xx

Frances and Roy always made me feel so welcome during my weekly visits. Although I was there to do housework, the visit invariably began with a cuppa and a chat which Frances valued more than the housework. She appreciated the company for her and Roy and enjoyed exchanging stories of past and present. It was, in fact, my most favourite job of the week!

The thing I remember most about Frances was her absolute devotion to her dear husband Roy. He would love to reminisce about the past and would take me down the same memory lane every week. Frances response to this was very clever. Each time she would add a new memory or something interesting to keep the conversation to fresh. I really did see this as a very creative and protective way of enabling Roy's continued social interaction and admired her greatly for it. Later, when she ran out of stories or no longer had the energy for them, her sideways glance told me "Thank you for listening, thank you for your patience", and I would go off down that lane with Roy as if it was the first time ever.

Thank you Frances for your friendship and company.

When I became a Christian in 1982 I joined God's family and mum and dad Penney were like my surrogate parents in christ. I will always love them for that and look forward to being reunited with them in heaven.

Hannah & I have so many precious memories of both Frances's & Roy at the home group that met at our home, the look of resignation on Frances's face as Roy related another yarn of his golfing colleagues. Plus her perception and understanding of some of the more difficult passages that we looked at together. We knew when the passage was going to be difficult because Frances's would come stocked with home made cakes or biscuits.
To say nothing about the celebration of the Queens jubilee during one of our Church holidays. Frances's passing on a polo mint to the Pastor via the matchsticks in their mouths during one of the games.
Our thoughts are with all the family at this time.

My abiding memory of Frances will always be one relating to a Tuesday night Prayer Meeting at MBC. I'd been converted the week before, and it was the first prayer meeting I'd been to. It was announced, early in the meeting, that I'd been saved, and Roy and Frances were sitting over to the side, where I could see their faces. Early on in the meeting we sang 'Dear Saviour though art mine', I'll never forgot the looks of joy on their faces, and the tears rolling down Frances' cheeks as they sang 'mine, mine, mine, I know thou art mine', and I'll never forget the joy with which both Frances and Roy gave thanks during the Prayer time. It moved me so much to see how much they cared, and it still moves me to think of today. Now, 16 years on, I've seen that scene many times. They hurried over to me at the end of the meeting, displaying those smiles that are shown on many of the pictures here. That's who Frances was, and it's who they were as a couple.

Mum: head in a book or knitting in her hand be it on the beach, watching TV, curled up in front of the front room fire and sometimes both at the same time.
Mum: usually in the background and then coming to life in social situations where someone needed support. Working in the workshop office in her father’s garage, mum knew customers by their registration and address and was involved in the lives of the mechanics encouraging and supporting them. Dad’s car was always looked after, once the garage was sold, by Phil a Rodway’s mechanic who set up his own business.
Mum: on Christmas day and Good Friday getting loads and loads of coffee and tea made ready for the open house after the joint morning service - yes waiting to open presents until after the “guests!” had gone, dinner eaten and washing up finished.
Mum: having to defer to dad when on Sunday mornings he would decide that the house needed a major tidy-up and then accepting his generosity in inviting visitors to dinner.
Mum: the word-smith enjoying the challenge of crosswords, scrabble, puzzlers etc. If she had been born in the computer age online scrabble would have suited her perfectly, whilst knitting or reading of course.
Mum: the caring mum, mother-in-law & granny. She had really warm memories of gardening with Beth when she stayed for over 6 weeks around Joel’s birth. Mum talking fondly of the looking for worms in the vegetable plot and Beth enjoying them wriggling around in her hands then putting them in her bucket; we will always have that with us.
Mum: Holding the hand of a respite resident, the lady was only there for two weeks, to gently and quietly comfort her. Not focusing on her own physical needs. Often she would thank us for taking dad out as she was not able to come. On one of these occasions she was sitting up in bed reading a book and responded to the question “Do you need anything?” “I am comfortable, thank you”. She was being totally honest, her face mirrored the words, and for that I am truly thankful to the people who cared at the Magna.
Mum: aka Lady Bountiful
Our mum, ………my mum

How often we take people for granted until they die and then we stop and reflect on what they mean to us. I recently attended a church service in Seattle where the message focused on the difference between the roles of men and women in marriage based on the book of Genesis. It struck me that Mum was predominantly a helper to Dad and her family and mostly put everyone else's needs before her own. I am amazed that she coped with having 6 children within 8.5 years and still managed to do decorating and make clothes amongst many other things - this took its toll on her body in later years when her mobility and energy levels let her down and she became increasingly weary. She encouraged us to learn musical instruments and this has been influential in many of our lives in one way or another - thanks Mum!

She was always generous when she had the means and I remember her always welcoming our friends. I echo Pauls Barnes' comments about Mum's increasing levels of affection in recent years as our relationships changed and enjoyed spending time with Mum and Dad, sitting, chatting, knitting and doing the Daily Telegraph quick crossword - you could always rely on Mum to come up with obscure answers and chuckles when the answers were really easy when we waited on Dad to see if he could come up with the answer. I am grateful that Mum showed love and acceptance to Richard and James and was able to meet my American daughter-in-law, Kayleigh.

My most recent memory, which I will cherish, is 2 weeks before Mum died. She was really weary following a failed attempt at a cystoscopy in the morning. Just before I left the Magna Care Home I took Dad in to see Mum. Dad sat and held Mum's hand and she drew his hand to her and kissed it and Dad did the same. Proverbs 3 says 'Let love and faithfulness never leave you' - after 60 years of marriage they are a great example of Christian marriage. She asked me about my pending trip to see my son and his family in Seattle and said she looked forward to hearing about it on our return. She showed interest in a photo of my grandson and granddaughter on my phone, despite apparent recent disinterest in photos, which heartened me. I read Psalm 23 and prayed, thanking God for them both, and then Dad tried to pray but could not find the words. Mum helped him by giving him the works to say - his helper unto the end! I love you Mum and so pleased that your suffering has ended and that you are now forever with the Lord in Glory and are with those who have gone before!