In loving memory of Paul Graham Tomkins who sadly passed away on 16th November 2015 at his home at 18:30pm aged 58 years old.
Paul was born on September the 24th in maidstone hospital along with his twin David, he and David Were Born premature. Paul lived in Trotiscliffe for the Early years of his life and moved to Twisden Road in East Malling. he was one of 6 children Including his Eldest Brother Robert who Rung nearly everyday to offer his support to paul via the phone during his illness to the end from Wales. His second Eldest Brother Keith who was his youngest Daughters Zoey's Godfather and was there tirelessly throughout his illness in many ways till the end, Alan also was a dedicated and protectective big brother to paul throughout his illness and his older sister Kathleen who passed away in 1990 also lost to cancer, his twin brother David (Dee) who Paul choose to be his best man and his Eldest Daughters godfather who him and paul were inseparable. Paul was Born to Robert William Tomkins who died when paul was a small boy and Pearl Serena Pierce/Tomkins who passed away in 1999.
We got married in may 1985 at Maidstone Registry office when I was 18 and Paul was 26. We have lived on well street in East/West Malling since shortly after we got married in 1985. Paul became a father for the first time to and leaves behind his devastated by his loss Eldest Daughter Lynsey Sally Tomkins (28) born in January 1987 now Tomkins- Cairney after marrying Paul Michael Cairney in July he also took Pauls surname of Tomkins as he felt it was respectful thing to do as Paul only had daughters so left no male line to carry on his branch of the Tomkins line and because he was so fond of him, so pauly and Lynsey became Tomkins-Cainey on the 4th July 2015 they both stayed with paul till paul had passed away and was taken into the care of viners and Sons and Paul was also father to and left behind his youngest Daughter Zoey Marie Tomkins who came along two years later after Lynsey was born he became a father again to her in February 1989 he spent time and enjoyed especially on Sunday's shopping, doing DIY and days out with her and as a family.
Paul played Darts for the Rising sun pub every Tuesday night since he was seventeen and played snooker every other Wednesday with his twin brother David, Brother in law phil Barrow and his son in law Pauly Tomkins-Cairney.
Paul spent his entire 43 years of working life on Broadwater Farm and was the only person I know who couldn't wait to get to work. He was a very Well liked person and had many friends,but his best friend and life long friend was Stephen Scott who he had known since he was 17 and his wife Julie Scott who were more like family then friends we spent many weekend's away with him and his wife Julie and there children even had family holidays away and days out with them when all our children were small. Paul was well liked at work and had a great group of people as colleagues but he didn't see them as colleagues more as good friends but they were a great support during Paul's illness and supported him right to the end.
He has left behind many friends, nieces,nephews, in laws,acquaintances, he was many things to many people and well loved we are all greatly saddened by his death. But he would want you to take to heart that he is now at peace and in no longer in pain and not to be sad and remember how he was before he got cancer I will always miss him and always love him he will leave a hole in a great many hearts.
Please it is politely requested that you don't wear black and that only close family give flowers and paul wanted you to donate any money spent on his flowers to the cancer research uk or heart of kent hospice.
Thank you in advance
Just heard today, 9th May 2016. The sad news that Paul had passed away. If i had known i would have attended the funeral to pay my respects.
Paul and i worked together from 1973 to 1979 when i left and played darts at the Rising Sun, had many good discussions on football, even though we were Tottenham and Arsenal fans.
R.I.P,Paul.
Merry Xmas Daddy wherever you are me and Pauly miss you very very much and we know your be up to you usual Christmas hi jinx we, got a cancer research onarment and McMillan ornament on our mini tree for you to keep my promise to you and we're be putting a berty,drink and Christmas cracker by for you tomorrow. And Paul's been checking the football scores for you every time Arsenal play a match, We think of you everyday daddy and will especially tomorrow we hope you are safe happy and comfortable where ever you are. And hopefully from where ever you are you can see the truth about some certian people and circumstances that you didn't before and what they've been upto since. Any way Daddy Bear we hope you like your berty and get a good joke and present in the cracker wish all those in heaven with you a merry Christmas and happy new year from me and Pauly.
We love and Miss you very very much
Merry Christmas Daddy
Lots of love
God bless
Lynsey and Paul
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Hello Paul I had to say my final goodbye yesterday and it was really hard you have left a big hole in my heart and I miss you everyday the house isn't the same now that you are gone and the dogs miss you terribly,my way of getting through it is that I know you are at peace now and are not suffering anymore I hope you had a funeral as you would of liked it at lot of people came that showed me what a lovely man you was not that I didn't know that already I know you will live on in people's memories and hearts and I know in time it will get easier for me so goodbye my happy chappy carry on tractoring .love you always Toni ?
In hope of a cure one day I want to donate 20.00
From all at Maidstone Home Care,
Although we only knew you a short time, the bonds that we built with yourself and Toni will never be forgotten. It was such a privilege to have known and cared for you.
Seeing the love you and Toni have for each other was so endearing and inspiring. From the moment we would walk in (after giving copious amounts of fuss to Ollie and Popeye) we felt so welcomed and easily comfortable in your presence.
Paul, you were truly a great man and we will miss you very much.
We hope the care and love of those around you Toni, provide the comfort and peace to help you through these days ahead.
RIP Paul
From Mike, Sophia, Wendy, Lisa, Alex, Sue, Lyn and Lois xXx
Paul, from all your friends at Broadwater Farm, we wanted to give a donation to the Heart of Kent Hospice, in your honour x
We all miss you at the farm Paul, the place does not seem the same without you, rest in peace x
To my great Brother in law , Best friend. Will never forget you. R.I.P
My darling husband I miss you so much even though you will never really leave me because you will stay in my heart forever I love you for the way you always thought of others before yourself and supported you're family always even when they done wrong you are forgiving and caring generous and most of all a really lovely man always smiling hardly ever grumpy but even then you was always funny with the face you pulled and we would laugh and you ended up laughing too I'm glad you was my husband because of the way you were I'm just sorry you had to leave me so soon and in such pain but I'm hoping now that you are at peace and sitting watching over us laughing again .I will say goodbye for now until we meet again. Rest in peace babe xx
To my beloved father in law. You are truly the best father in law anyone could have wished for, you welcomed me into your home and treated me like a son, which I will always be greatful for. I will always miss the jokes we shared with each other and poking fun at each other over football.
I always remember the first time you met me, you thought I was very quiet, well a little too quiet, but you was reassured I was just a little shy. Once we got talking about sport we always had plenty to talk about, and I shall always miss those chats.
You always helped me when I needed it and gave advice in best way you could. I may have frustrated you at times but you never let that stop you from pointing me in the right direction and kicking me up the backside time to time.
I will miss everything about you, from your beaming smile, your cheeky sense of humour and you always being there to help. I miss the nights we played snooker, always trying to win but never worried about if you won or lost. I miss you getting me out of pickles when you never knew how I got into them, but most of all I will miss how you always reassured me with your infectious smile and the way you never wanted to let people down.
Goodbye Paul, I promise I will look after Lynsey in the best way I can and I will always try to make her smile. You are at peace now and no longer in pain. I will always miss you, but I will never forget you, you will always have a place in my heart.
Goodbye Paul
love from your son in law
Pauly
Dear Paul if you ever see this or if anyone knows where he and Lynsey are it’s been 8 years since we have heard from him and we desperately need to get hold of him Thank you
Uncle Paul
You are at peace now and not in any pain and I am thankful for that. I was listening to the hollies yesterday and remembering how you used to laugh when you phoned at Christmas to speak to your brothers, I picked up the phone we had a chat and dad would ask who it was, I would say to him "he ain't heavy, it's your brother". You were a wonderful uncle always fun to be around, a man with a great sense of humour. Nan would be so proud of you, you are with her now and she will take care of you. My promise to you is I will live my life to the fullest, and take care of dad, Al and dee as much as i can, you were a wonderful brother, husband and father. You fought a terrible disease with all your might. I am thankful that I could say goodbye to you before the end. You will forever be in our hearts, sleep tight now mate, gone but never forgotten.
Love you, Catherine xxxx
Goodbye dad. I am nowhere near articulate under strain- I normally get angry because the world is utterly confusing to me. You got that even when others slammed doors in my face. It only hurt when you just stood by and let them. I couldn't come back, I couldn't. I couldn't hack the hatred and people looking through me any more. When you smiled at me you meant it, not that fake smile I saw so many times but the one where you beam light when you do it. I tried to never ask for anything. I tried to never break. I tried to be sensible in my choices. I just get things wrong- always have. You were my childhood world that big strong dad who would keep me safe. The dad who even if it would throw his dodgy back out would lift his little girl up and carry her on his shoulders (even when she was a little big). You were the clown but also the most serious person I have ever met. You held silence in a way that always left me in awe. See I can't do that, I don't know why. The dad that was proud of a daughter who could take care of herself, who hated but liked the fierce independence. I remember not long before we stopped talking you told me that you loved me and you were so proud of me, it was rare to get a conversation so serious from you and I will treasure it. I missed you everyday and cried so many times over you not being here or not calling. I miss your ability to make me laugh, your laugh as we done jobs around the house and stuff and you would get wound up over things and I would mock your anger- I don't know why but you never found anything as funny as when people done that. I would swap places if I could and the world now seems a little darker but I can't swap with you. So I will build a life where I can be happiest and strongest and just as independent as that is what made you proudest. Love you where ever you are.
Just a note to say that Broadwater Farm will not be the same without you Paul
You livened up our day, every day, always happy, always positive and everyone's friend.
I just hope that the place that you are going has a tractor and a forklift because then we know you will be content.
You will always be remembered by all of us on the farm and also many, many people throughout the fruit growing industry.Rest in Peace
To my lovely Daddy and a beloved Father in law your at peace now your were so very brave and fought a good fight and We already miss you so very much we will miss you everyday and you will never be forgotten Daddy ever. I hope your in heaven and your be watching over us all and I promise to check sky sports news for you every Saturday and I will try to make you proud everyday Dad. I'm sorry you wasn't well enough to go on your tour of Arsenal that me and paul bought for your birthday. Hope were ever you are were see you again it will break my heart if you ever become a Grandad because they won't know what a lovely fun grandad you would of been and if you do I will tell them all about you. I took Nanny T some flowers for you today like you asked and went past the Angel inn the George inn and your old primary school and Shannon cottages on the Way to the church yard. Paul wants to say he will always look after me for you and thank you for helping us and making him feel so welcome and for the time spent at snooker and your kindness. Sleep long and peacefully Daddy I will do my upmost to make sure to try and stop anybody else going through what you did. I just want you to know one more time Daddy thank you for making my wedding day perfect you was the first one down to set up the hall and the last one up and reassuring me that one last time as I walked down the aisle you was magnificent that day.
I love you very very much and so did pauly.
GoodnightDaddy love you Xxx
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