Julie Ann Gunn (18 Jan 1962 - 21 Aug 2018)

Hey mummy.
I/we love & miss you so so so so much.me & the kids hope ur ok pain free & happy up there.forever in my thoughts daily.God how I miss you xxxxxxxxx

Ohhh mum 💔💔 everything is so hard & so lonely😭😭
We recently bought you a large rose gold lantern as you loved them so so much❤️ It is huge, we would like to place your ashes inside❤️
This evening lamaiàh asked me when we would be bringing it to you at your (NEW HOUSE) as you don’t live in your old house anymore😭😭😭😭
What do I say to a 5 year old mum?? How do I explain to her?? She thinks you have moved house but also every time we need to go to or drive past the Glenfield hospital she asks “can we go & see mamma quickly,i didnt saw her for ages😭😭 I cannot believe how hard this is still fresh & still hitting us hard as a family as if it were still the day you left us😭💔😭 mum I need you.i am sorry for how selfish that is of me,i was just never taught how to live/cope without you or my dad😢 I/we are in such a bad place without you right now....it is literally becoming unbearable.
Please know I feel “GUILT” huge guilt for not getting to say goodbye!for not getting to tell you how much I LOVE YOU or how much the babies LOVE YOU.talk about history repeating itself because it happened the same way with my dad.
I literally owe you both my life....I would do so much more for you if you were still here as it was never enough. “I AM DEEPLY TRULY SORRY” if only I got to you before you went to sleep💔 you would have gone to sleep whilst I held you in my arms❤️ We love you mum/mamma.❤️💔❤️💔❤️💔💔

Mum😓😭i keep trying to push the hurtful thoughts & memories even the good ones of you out of my mind as its unbearable & im still not ready to accept you are no longer here😭😓
I would give anything to talk to you right now💔i miss you so much❤
Life is hard mum😢😢i'll always need you....always❤ god bless you mum xxxxxxxx

Hi mum.i know it has been a while since i ladt wrote on here.Believe me when i say its not due to me not thinking of you,as that couldnt be further from the truth.i think about you all the time but i have to be honest,sometimes especially recently it hurts so much to think of you :( it hurts because you are gone,it hurts because i miss you,it hurts because i/we didnt get to say goodbye,it hurts knowing you were scared,it hurts because i wasnt by your side when you closed your eyes for the very last time,it hurts because i know you wanted to see me & colin get married & because you wanted to see the kids grow up,it hurts because i dont know if you knew..if you truly knew how deeply loved you are,& at the minute it even hurts to think of all my happy times with you & growing up with the best mummy a girl could wish for.literally any memory thought feeling or emotion is hurting.recently when we drive past your house lamaiáh keeps saying "theres mammas house" "can we go & see mamma" & it breaks my heart even more.she is too young to understand why i cant take her to see you :(
I know all the kids are struggling with losing you.we have a memory box now.so what we do is every time we have a memory of you we write it on little bits of paper & put them in the box.i said to the kids every time your thinking of mamma especially when you are missing her,take a look inside the box & have a read of some of our memories to cheer yourselves up.we have decided we are going to get a beautiful bench for our garden & put your memory plaque on it & behind it will be yours & dads rose bushes that you planted together in your back garden all those years ago that are now re planted in our garden.I love and miss you so so much mum.i hope you are both together up there.we miss you both so so much.xxxxxxxx.

mum i love you and i miss you so much😭💔💔😭
its almost as if this is all going to hit me really quick in 1 go almost 6 months later....i dont want to accept ur no longer here😭😭 as far as im concerned u have gone on a very long holiday and you will be coming back....but ur not are you??😭😭mum why cant u just be on holiday??why dont you just come back home??i need you....we need you....
i feel so guilty towards you💔some of the words you spoke to me when u knew u were poorly were "laura i dont want to die" and i told you you werent going to..i lied to you and im sorry im really sorry💔i knew you were poorly i knew you didnt have as long as you thought but i promise you with every part of me i thought you had so so much longer and for that i am sorry💔💔 i would give so much just to have you home for a day💔

Happy heavenly birthday Ju thinking of you you are loved and missed very much ❤

Heyy.so its 2019!!how on earth have we entered a new year without you??!!
ohh god mum i miss you with literally every single part of me,i honestly do.the kids speak of you every single day....even làmoure haha❤.i really need you tocome & see me again.i think selfishly i need some kind of reassurance or something.the one visit i claim to remember if it was real wasnt the most pleasant one :(
i feel like you are angry or dissapointed or something with me??is it because i wasnt there when you passed??mum i would have given anything i had to of been there with you right by your side❤❤❤.when i arrived on that VILE day i shouted,screamed,begged,& pleaded with the paramedics....with evveryone to help you.to save you...i begged them to help you i then begged them to help me....i then begged them to help me help you.nobody would listen!!!!i know in my heart if you knew you were leaving us you would have made me aware.2 nights before u passed u called me early hours in pain & ur words were in the morning "laura i thought i was a gonner... gone-er...." i told u not to be so bludy daft" do you remember??
see so i know you would have got in touch with me.
mum all i can say to you from the very bottom of my complete heart & soul is i am sorry.i am sorry ok??im sorry i didnt know..i am sorry i wasnt there..i am sorry you are no longer here..i am sorry we couldnt get married quick enough or that your physical being isnt here to see the babies grow up..
i do know tho that you both you & dad are somewhere out there watching it all....& our wish is that you are doing it all together.
sweetdreams mother to you & dad.
your heartbroken daughter...laura xxxx

It's the end of this year for most of us but for you julie and rob it's just the start of your lives again together.shine bright in heaven as you did on earth xx

Hi mum.i hope you are ok with dad??i love the thought neither of you are alone and are together.sorry to be selfish but i am really struggling without you both.i feel sadness sorrow guilt,i have regrets should haves must haves.i have why didnt i's should i's.it is now new years eve 2018.im scared.im scared because once those clocks chime at midnight i feel i have left you behind💔i last saw your beautiful face and heard your beautiful voice in august 2018.once we enter 2019 i feel i am leaving you behind as i do with dad every year.i wont ever be able to say oh i spoke to mum last on this day this month 2019 will i??so for that reason alone i dont want 2018 to be behind us :(
Mum just please know im not leaving you anywhere.wherever i go you go.ill never ever forget you or stop talking of you.i love you both so so much.i wont use the phrase with all my heart at the minute as that wont seem enough as my heart is complety shattered and broken.love you now always and forever........ XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Thinking about you mamma... genuinely have no words to express how much youre missed☹ i hope you're resting easy now❤we love you❤.

A tad late as unable to log on.........but this is for you mum from christmas day 2018....With a very very heavy heart i would like to wish my wonderful mummy & kids mamma a very merry christmas up in heaven.today is just not the same without you💔💔it is so surreal that you are not here with us today & everyday💔💔.i can only hope and wish you are having a very merry 1st christmas up in heaven with dad👫❤you are both the gifts that are not under our christmas tree this year😭😭my heart hurts so much but ill try my best for the kids.all our love now always and eternally xxxxxxxx