Brian Victor Ernest Richards (11 May 1937 - 24 Apr 2019)

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Location
Southend Crematorium Sutton Road Southend on Sea SS2 5PX
Date
21st May 2019
Time
2.40pm
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In loving memory of Brian Victor Ernest Richards who sadly passed away on 24th April 2019

BRIAN IN HIS OWN WORDS – Taken from Brian’s Biographical Notes in his Family Tree Maker Genealogy Programme
Funeral Brian Richards Tuesday 21st May 2.40 West Chapel Southend

A Difficult Start
Brian Victor Ernest Richards was born on 11th May 1937 at Thorpe Coombe Maternity Hospital, Walthamstow. He weighed 7lb 15oz at birth.
His mother claimed that after his birth she hovered between life and death. His father was asked to decide whether the medical team should devote their attention to his wife or his new born child. He chose his wife, and Brian was placed on one side. He always imagined that he was put on the draining board out of the way. Once his mother’s survival was assured, the medical team turned their attention to him and were surprised he was still alive.
The survivor was christened on 4th July by the Rev. Geoffrey Warwick at St Peter’s in the Forest, Walthamstow, according to the Rites and Ceremonies of the Established Church.
The 12th May 1937 was George VI’s Coronation day. The mothers of children born that day had their names in the paper, a gift of £10 and a Coronation Mug. Brian’s mother feared that his failure to be born on the 12th was a clear indication of how he would fail to measure up to expectations over the coming years.
Where He Lived
The family’s Edwardian terraced house in Castleton Road was shared with Brian’s maternal grandmother.
Four times during the war, he was evacuated, including once to Rayleigh. Bombs fell in the next road. Castleton Road suffered no direct hits, though windows were broken and ceilings brought down. The intensive bombing ceased when the German Air Force turned their attention to aiding the land attack on the USSR.
In June1944, under attack from flying bombs (V1’s) then rockets(V2’s),almost 1.5 million people left London. Brian, his mother, grandmother and grand aunt went with them.
Brian and his Gran stayed with Mr and Mrs Greer, who were Christadelphians. Mrs Greer played the organ in their services and had taught the piano before the war. Their religion ensured they led a frugal life, although Mr Greer, who liked a pint, argued that Jesus would not have turned the water into wine if he did not want his followers to drink.
Education
Brian’s education began at the sedate Thorpe Hall Primary School, which suited his initially shy nature, but an area reorganisation and his father’s socialist views meant that at eight he was moved to one of Walthamstow’s two roughest schools, where one did not admit to two Christian names, let alone three. The one name and the dropped aitch became obligatory to avoid a good kicking in the playground.
At eleven, he lost the chance of the place he wanted at a technical school by saying he would leave school at fifteen. What child of eleven wants to stay on even to age twelve!
At Sir George Gascoigne Central Selective School, the thought of earning money, along with pressure from home, meant he turned down the offer of a chance to stay on for ‘O’ Levels, a decision which he later regretted, resenting the lack of adequate adult guidance.
In later life he made sure to continue his education: an ONC in Electrical Engineering, then ‘O’ Levels studied in the evening. Having moved upward at work, he applied to the Open University soon after it started, and graduated in 1977 with a BA Honours (Upper Second), in Sociology and Psychology.
Employment
A week after leaving school in 1952, Brian began as a Junior Clerk with the London Electricity Board in the City of London. He had wanted to be a cabinet maker, but demand for such crafts in the days of mass production was slight, and his parents advised a job with a good pension. At fifteen a pension was not high among his priorities.
A year later, feeling pen-pushing not to be a very masculine activity, he transferred to an apprenticeship as an Instrument Mechanic with the LEB. More manly maybe, but not so well paid.
After marriage to Jill, he and his young family moved to Kent where they could better afford a house. He modernised their small cottage, worked on a building site till a job with the South Eastern Electricity Board came along, then in 1967 was one of ten chosen from three hundred and fifty hopefuls to train in Work Study, the job of analysing and improving work practices. A promotion to the ranks of the white-collar brigade which he had deserted some 14 years earlier!
Similar jobs with two local authorities in Sussex led to a sideways move to become Head of Management Studies at Hastings College, devising new courses for adult students. Eleven years later he moved on to develop his own consultancy work. Not a wise move in the middle of a recession. So back to lecturing when he and Jan moved to Essex, and also to serve on the board of a local housing association, of which he became Vice-Chair.
An analytical mind and a sharp critical faculty can be assets in such a career. But they are sometimes accompanied by an inability to keep one’s mouth shut! He remembers somewhere hearing a murmur around him: ‘We do need a trouble shooter in this organisation, but we sure do only need the one!'


JAN SAYS

BRIAN AS I KNEW HIM
I never guessed I would be lucky enough to know someone like Brian.
I first knew him as a colleague at work, saw him encourage adult students to do things they were not sure they could do, and send them away with the confidence to explore how much further they could develop their capabilities and interests.
He had come to teaching late, aged 42 I think. And he was good at it.
Away from work, Brian loved making things, especially to improve the comfort and practicality of a living space, and he always found ways to make the jobs succeed. He had wanted to be a cabinet maker and been advised it was a dying craft. Those who lived with him served long apprenticeships as labourer and holder of the other end of things.
From our arrival in Essex in 1992, every part of our small bungalow and garden was re-shaped, peaking with the great loft conversion project from 2008 to 2012. How two of us, one five feet tall, and I must not say a woman to boot, got a large steel RSJ, heavy roof timbers and all materials up there through a hole in the ceiling was fairly easy to follow if you knew Brian’s patent roller and tackle method.
He enjoyed other projects. In Hastings there were the classic cars: dirty overalls and noisy restoration work in a rented farmyard barn. And two classic Honda motorbikes, one of which had followed him through life since 1975, the other acquired on a day trip to somewhere near Manchester.
The family history was a different sort of project, still ongoing as I am doing it as well. Brian was careful and discerning in his research. His mantra of ‘I know how to please a woman. Take her to a good car breaker’s yard.’ changed to ‘Take her to a decent graveyard.’ He still knew how to please a woman.
His last project, in summer 2017, was a small summerhouse, to sit at the end of a day’s gardening and admire our handiwork.
We kept a boat on the Medway for 11 years, and then there were the holidays: Europe, Australia, India, and all the interesting locations of the Holiday Property Bond resorts.

Brian loved his family, Vicky and Lesley and Sule and Rosie and their partners and extended families. And his cousins, who were early important to him as he was an only child. And we were delighted that he could meet George, his first great-grand child, who came up from Sussex aged 5 weeks to meet him. Accompanied of course.

He was not a great joiner or socialiser, but he greatly enjoyed our get-togethers with good friends, some of whom are here today.

I found him interesting to talk with, about a myriad of topics. He was a keen reader and interested in the world around him. One particular interest was film, having made the first of many regular cinema visits as a babe in arms. He loved his music, his large CD collection ranging from ‘30’s and ‘40’s ballads and classic rock to modern jazz and opera.

Brian was funny, caring and kind. Too dogged and a little one-eyed sometimes in an argument, very forthright with his views, on occasion uncomfortably so, and passionate about fairness, almost to a fault.

He did not profess any religion, at one time having been a paid up member of the Humanist Society. But, despite my being from a more religious background, it was he who helped me understand with certainty that, believers or not, unless we try to live by what are known as Christian values, as humans we are lost.

Soulmate is a cliché, I know, but it is the word. I was so pleased and proud to walk beside Brian for over thirty years.

Jennifer Richards posted a picture
Audierne 2017.    I will never stop loving you.    Jan

Audierne 2017. I will never stop loving you. Jan

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Offline donation: Frank Richards donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Beryl Green donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Mrs Janette Ross donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Mrs J Preston donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Lindsay & Tony Salisbury donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Mrs Doreen Bowers donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: K Tyrell donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: T & P Holbrook donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Mrs Pat Monk donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Jenny & Bruce Paterson (Fowler) donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Jacqi & Bill (Grieve & Miller) donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Lynda donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Ken donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Service Collection donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Lynda donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Ken donated in memory of Brian
Offline donation: Service Collection donated in memory of Brian
Jennifer (Jan) Richards lit a candle
Lesley Ryan wrote

This poem was so apt for Dad's situation, and I think something he would have liked to have said to those he left behind:

Weep not for me though I have gone
Into that gentle night
Grieve if you will, but not for long
Upon my soul’s sweet flight

I am at peace, my soul’s at rest
There is no need for tears
For with your love I was so blessed
For all those many years

There is no pain, I suffer not
The fear is now all gone
Put now these things out of your thoughts
In your memory I live on

Remember not my fight for breath
Remember not the strife
Please do not dwell upon my death
But celebrate my life

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Lesley Ryan posted a picture
Teddy flowers from the grandkids!

Teddy flowers from the grandkids!

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Lesley Ryan posted a picture
Funeral flowers; my rose has pride of place.

Funeral flowers; my rose has pride of place.

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lesley Ryan wrote

Below are the words I tried hard to articulate at Dad's funeral:

Our Dad – So many memories, here are just a few from when we were young

Trips to St Mary’s Bay, ham and sand sandwiches on the beach, Dad taught us to swim, which largely consisted of chucking us in the sea and hoping for the best!

Dad found a inner- tube from an old tractor tyre that we used as a rubber ring in the sea, it gave us sore armpits from the salt, and we used to argue about who had the side with the valve.

We loved the Beatles; we used to sing along enthusiastically to St. Peppers, having learned all the words to all the songs!

Joe Cocker’s Mad Dogs and Englishmen was another favourite.

He once built a four man canoe from a kit (no u-tube tutorials then), which we launched in Shoreham harbour, he made us wear army surplus life jackets for the occasion which were pretty rank.

To Dad we were always just two little kids and he taught us stuff: how to use a puncture repair kit, the proper way to mix cement (I remember getting lime in my eyes on more than one occasion), names of various tools (chiefly, so we could hand him the right one on cue), how to wire a plug, so much more.

As kids we watched all sorts of things together: The World at War, Star Trek, Doctor Who, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Match of the Day, F1(still a firm favourite).

Our toys included a train set and Maccano. He once found an old boys bike from a skip for me, which we painted pale blue. I loved that bike.

When it came to games, be it playing chess, monopoly, cards or even shove hap-penny he never let us win: god it felt good when we did!

Dad loved his films; The Magnificent 7 a particular favourite. He never tired of re-watching films and had an amazing memory for the characters, plot and even the actors!

Dad could be charming when it suited him, but it was always on this own terms: we both had our own ups and downs with him over the years, but he shaped us in so many ways, ensuring that we grew up strong, practical, organised, independent (and in my case just a tiny bit impatient).

So this is ‘Our Dad’, warts and all, and we love him.

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  • Really lovely. Thanks, Lesley. Lots of love, Jan

    Posted by Jan on 27/05/2019 Report abuse
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Antony Ryan donated £30 in memory of Brian
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Vicky Sharp posted a picture
La Gomera 2011

La Gomera 2011

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  • Thanks, Vicky. Lovely memories. Lots of love, Jan

    Posted by Jan on 27/05/2019 Report abuse
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Australia 2012

Australia 2012

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Australia 2012

Australia 2012

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Vicky Sharp posted a picture
Australia 2012

Australia 2012

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Vicky Sharp posted a picture
Australia 2012

Australia 2012

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Australia 2012

Australia 2012

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