Anthony John Paul Carter (8 Jan 1942 - 12 Jun 2019)

I miss you much Dad...I just wish you'd ring me to help fix your computer! xxx

From Joan and Alan

Anthony Carter…Tony to most of you here, was a beautiful man.
That’s what I told him in his last few hours.
It’s a strange description for a man I know, but one that to me at the time was appropriate. Why that word came to me I can’t explain… but it did.
Beautiful, according to the Oxford English Dictionary means, and I quote firstly: “pleasing the mind or senses aesthetically”, i.e. good looking, which clearly, he was…thankfully passing that gene on to his eldest son. Then secondly, and again I quote: “of a very high standard, excellent”.
The latter definition for dad is totally correct.

AJC, Anthony, Son, Tony, Dad, Grandad, Grumpy are only some of the titles for an extraordinary man.

Generous, selfless, compassionate, thoughtful, caring, considerate, are only some of the adjectives to describe an extraordinary man.

Dad was an introvert, painfully shy. He was private and reserved. To me a man who couldn’t outwardly show his feelings. This may have made some people think that he was cold and emotionless but nothing could have been further from the truth.
Dad’s cup was never, ever half full…it was eternally half empty.
It was this persistent pessimism that ironically made him one of the finest motor underwriters in the country and this infuriating attribute led him to have an incredibly successful career in the insurance industry.

Dad worked tirelessly for his family. He took us out of Sarf East London in 1975 to ‘Tanooma’ in leafy Hartley, to this day the family home. I was 8 and Adam was 7 and it was a massive commitment for a young, hungry motor insurance executive on his way up. But committed he was.

Now Dad wasn’t the most active father on the planet. He didn’t particularly like sports such as football, rugby or cricket. The unenviable task of taking us two boys to football was left to our Uncle Malcolm who is here today.
What Dad did love however was any sport that had involved wheels and engines! Thankfully he passed this motorsport passion onto his boys hence our love of cars and motorbikes.
Dad loved his motorbikes too. In his younger days he went to the isle of Mann TT racing to spectate and was a big fan of the sidecar outfits, screaming around the country lanes at break neck speeds. Not for the faint hearted.
In fact, it was only a few years ago that Dad unfortunately had to sell his last motorbike.
His treasured BMW Sports…the same bike that he’d kept hidden in the garage under wraps because he hadn’t told Sandra that he’d bought a new one!!!

Tanooma was a loving, family home and Adam and I have got many fond memories of great times spent there with Dad and our Mum Hazel.
We all enjoyed our camping holidays together, firstly in this country, mainly in Wales and then further afield in France and Spain using Dad’s home-made trailer to carry all of the camping equipment. As the holidays got longer and we needed more equipment Dad cleverly added extension after extension to the infamous trailer. As most of you know, Dad never, ever threw anything away so if anyone is interested in buying a bespoke late 1970’s homemade camping trailer please don’t hesitate to speak to me afterwards! In fact, most of the same retro camping equipment is also still available from the Tardis that is Dad’s loft…at a very reasonable price of course!
We eventually evolved from tenting into caravanning and guess what? Dad could get even more old toot into a caravan than a trailer!


Dad took after our Grandpop (my dad’s dad) in terms of diy skills and practicality.

In his day Grandpop Carter was a master builder and much more and thankfully a lot of that knowledge rubbed off on Dad.

Dad was an incredibly practical man in every field…building, electrical, plumbing, mechanics and the like. He was forever doing jobs around the house and helping myself and Adam with our mechanical woes.

As most of you will know, our Mum Hazel was ill for a very long time and Dad used to visit her in hospital every evening after a hard day’s work not returning home until late every night.
The strain on Dad must have been intense but it is a testament to his character that he never shirked his responsibilities to our mother and did his very best to bring up his two boys in incredibly difficult circumstances…he clearly did a good job…just look at us now!

Sadly, our Mum passed away when Adam and I were 18 and 19 respectively.
Dad was 44 years old.

Dad, Adam and me were broken.

Thankfully we were so lucky when Sandra and Elizabeth came into our lives.
They fixed us.

Sandra and Dad became instant soul mates and they both helped each other to live and love again at such a difficult time in both of their lives.
Elizabeth was only a toddler when Dad and Sandra met but grew up as Dad’s daughter and our sister.

Dad spent the next 34 years living between Tanooma in the South and his second home at Sandra’s Ivy Cottage in the North. Dad loved it in Newton-le-Willows and had lots of close friends oop North, a lot of whom are here today.

Dad and Sandra loved to travel and go on holiday. Skiing was one of their favourite pastimes and myself, Adam and Elizabeth were all fortunate enough to go on several skiing trips with them. We all have great memories of those holidays and the time spent in each other’s company both on the piste and then afterwards on the pissed.

And of course, in later years there was the apartment in Portugal. He absolutely loved spending as much time as possible there with his beloved Sandra and their friends. It was his favourite place.

Dad loved to have his family around him. He was a funny, witty charming person. He had a very dry sense of humour which didn't come out very often but every now and then he would crack a joke or one liner that would have the room crying with laughter…and he always, always laughed at his own jokes.

Dad was an extremely hard worker and installed that work ethic in both his sons.
He worked hard and reaped the rewards. That enabled him to spend the time with his family and loved ones that he so enjoyed.

Dad loved all of his Grandchildren. Amy, Taylor, Harry, Ryon, Maddison and last but by no means least baby Matilda. Dad would have been so, so pleased to have you all here today.

Sadly, Dad’s health worsened in the last few years and continued to deteriorate rapidly. During all of this time despite his illnesses and pain he continued to think about the well-being of his family over himself.
There is one person that never left Dad’s side and that is his beloved Sandra.
Now Dad, and to use Sandra’s expression ‘could be a monkey’! I’m not saying that he took advantage of her generous nature but he may have done it just a couple of times.
One thing I do know for certain is that he loved Sandra with all of his being and she loved him equally as much.

Dad, you have left us far too early but your pain has ended.
You have left us all wiser and better people for having had you in our lives.
You will be cherished, loved and missed for eternity.

Thank you for being our Dad.

In memory of my cousin Tony

RIP Tony. Love from Andy & Helen Connolly

It was a pleasure to have lived nextdoor to Tony for so many years. A great friend to mum and dad and supplier of wine at Christmas. Always in our thoughts xx