David Richard Bernasconi (25 Oct 1942 - 17 Jun 2015)

Monday, 13 July 2015


Dear Dave,

I write this letter to you, as a way of remembering you with great affection. It’s the Dave I got to know through the many times we met with you and Carol at your home. I thank you for your hospitality and generosity especially at a time when you were already in the grip of that despicable motor neurone disease which you fought with such dignity and stoicism.

I’m guessing you were angry with MND but didn’t show it. It was not your way. You didn’t want to dwell on it. Instead you spent some time researching it and not totally unsurprisingly discovered an unusually high incidence of it in your locality. We found it frustrating that there seemed to be little research that pointed to any clear explanation. I recall that in the early days of your mnd there was little support for you and Carol.

As grandparents we shared stories of our mischievous grandsons Samuel and Jacob, took pride in their achievements and laughed at their escapades and their unique differences on a regular basis. I could see they loved coming to your house with its wide open spaces. Sam was able to drive about in the electric car you got him while Jake was passenger. They liked to tease your 2 cats as young boys do !

You and Carol provided an easy going, loving home where they just felt quite at ease. I am grateful to you both for having me over to share in some of those times even though it must have been exhausting for you.

Then there was your writing and your appreciation of poetry. You had a greater connection with Liz on this front. From time to time you would keep me upto date about how the crime thriller you were writing was developing. Although you finished the story you wrote, I couldn’t persuade you to get it published. I would like to read it from beginning to end and expect it to be enjoyable. Perhaps now, that decision can be made for you unless you have some objections!

I gradually learned that you are a dedicated Arsenal supporter. It seems to have been a remarkably good year for all you gunners.

There was lots more we shared over the few years I got to know you but a pleasant memory that will stay with me was the time we had on a picnic at Mersea when you introduced me to delicious freshly caught crab.

Thankyou for being a kind and generous friend with a great sense of humour. I will miss you but keep your memory alive.

With much love and affection

Cedric

We hope this small donation will help other suffers of MND

I got to know Dave as the father of my best friend Keith and from the very first time I met him I was struck by his warmth, generosity of spirit and kindness. I could see clearly where Keith inherited some of his best attributes of loyalty, openness, good humour and reliability. As I got to know Dave over the years I realised we both shared a love for literature and poetry and we had many interesting exchanges about our preferred authors including Orwell or Cormac McCarthy which Dave would analyse with wit and perceptive humour. Dave would often recite poems with such verve, cadence and subtle turn of phrase that it was a joy to be party to. In the last few months I had the pleasure of reading some of David’s own poems and I was enchanted by his sensitivity and insight into the human condition; my favourite two being one regarding his faulty memory of teachers entitled ‘I Remember’ but also a delightful piece called ‘The Spider’. But what I most admire about Dave is how he faced the challenges that life threw at him with courage, stoicism and fortitude. Where others would have understandably cursed the world; Dave altruistically carried on not for himself but for those around him, whose lives he improved immensely merely by his presence. David was one-of-a-kind who without knowing it has influenced many individuals for the better and who will each remember him in their hearts with great comfort. We were all very fortunate to have shared our lives with David; a loving husband to Carol, a devoted father to his two children and a trustworthy friend to many people. He will be sadly missed by all of us, but part of him will live on in me and many others who have been touched by his noble heart.